I HAD SEX BEFORE I WAS MARRIED.
There, I said it. I also said I would be truthful, and here I am. Unashamed of what just came out of my mouth while yours probably dropped to the floor. Pick it back up because you might catch a glimpse of my story while reading until the very end.
This isn’t the updated gossip column of my life. It’s a place to feel safe and that your words and feelings can be shared amongst others who can tell the same stories.
What I admitted to you wasn’t hard, it really wasn’t. Know that. Know that the decisions you have made are worth claiming simply because if you don’t claim them, someone else’s words will over tower the truth you want others to believe.
I’m struggling to find the right words to talk about how sensitive this subject is.
Contradicting the way I was raised, taught, and believe in I decided to have sex before I was married. Something told me that a few years back I was absolutely without question going to marry the one who took something special. Fast forward to today and you’ll see that this is not the case anymore.
I was naïve to what it meant to W A I T.
If you take anything away from what I’m about to tell you its this : the safest sex is when you have a ring on your finger.
My daughter will have this tattooed on her forehead, kidding, but not really!
It’s more than your body; its your trust, your heart, your sanity, your emotions. And it’s something you’ll never get back. YES, I am confessing that I will never experience what it’s like to have sex for the first time on my wedding night.
What I’m passionate about is listening to what God has to tell me and drawing YOU closer to the goodness of those words. There’s a battle of fleshly desire that wages a war within our minds when we are put in that moment, but if you aren’t alone sin can’t win.
God values our bodies. His Spirit dwells within us and it IS wrong to give permission to someone other than your husband that gift.
I had a conversation with someone that ripped my heart out. Transparency, remember? I never felt as guilty as I have until the day I admitted to having sex before marriage.
I was the one slowly making the wound bigger and deeper with each person who was able to have a piece of that gift. It’s the same as trying to stick tape to something fuzzy and hoping it won’t stick.
The number of lessons this has taught me has been countless. I need all of my fingers, yours and your best friends too. THAT many.
You admit “well, I had sex too so now what…does Jesus still love me as His own?”
Unexplainable peace will wash over you just like an ocean wave of grace when you admit of your wrong.
Identity is something I am all about. All about finding out who we are in the eyes of the Father. Falling in love with Jesus first makes falling in love with the person created for you easier.
When we give in to pleasure, its temporary therefore making our spouse suffer from having that gift all to themselves. Let that soak in and come back in just a few minutes.
The person whose last name you steal is going to SUFFER because you couldn’t wait. That breaks my heart knowing that the same piece of tape that was shared can’t replace the brokenness I, myself created.
Whether your wedding dress is going to be pure white or not, being pure starts now. Choose to find identity in Jesus and not of your fleshly desires.
Leave with this.
You were HIS before you were ever his.